


held my tongue

by pastelmina



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 00:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14344350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelmina/pseuds/pastelmina
Summary: sana wanted to say something to momo but she always kept quiet





	held my tongue

They had been broken up for what felt like forever to Sana. In reality, it had been three months. Sana still hadn't moved on from Momo and she couldn't bring herself to fall out of love with the girl. Before Momo ended things, the two were together for three and a half years, it was the greatest time of Sana's life. Near the end the girls stopped communicating with one another and Momo distanced herself from Sana. She completely shut herself down and stopped opening up to everyone in all honesty. Momo knew this was such a wrong thing to do to Sana so she ended things. 

Sana was so heartbroken. She couldn't do anything but cry for a week straight. Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Mina were all there for her. Right by her side, consoling her, listening to every word she spoke. Sana appreciated it more than the girls could have known.

After all of these months apart, Sana still had some things she wanted to say to Momo. She was too scared to actually say them to her. Sana thought it was such a stupid idea, which it probably was but she didn't really care. She needed the closure. Maybe that would be the key to her falling out of love with Momo.

Sana needed a distraction. It was a Friday night and she was home alone. She decided to call Jihyo and Jeongyeon. Maybe they would go out with Sana to a club to get her mind off things. Sana always enjoyed going out with the two. Drunk Jeongyeon was so fun to watch, it made Sana laugh.

"Hello?"

Sana smiled at Jihyo's voice. "Hey. I'm really bored. Would you and Jeongyeon mind going out with me tonight?"

"Yeah, we'd love to."

"Okay, I'll come over in about fifteen minutes. That good?" Sana asked with a huge smile on her.

Jihyo chuckled. "Yeah. We'll get ready. Love you."

She hung up on Jihyo and got out of her bed. She made her way towards her closet, ruffling through her clothes. 

\---

The trio arrived at the club quickly as usual. They exited the cab and walked up to the doors, walking right in. The music was as loud as it usually is. There were so many people there exactly the way Sana liked. It didn't take long for the girls to get their drinks. They started out with shots of vodka then this strong Korean drink. Jeongyeon never liked the drink so she usually stuck to beer or gin. 

Jihyo handled her alcohol well. Took a few drinks to get her drunk but she handled it better than Sana and Jeongyeon. Sana was such a lightweight it never took her many drinks to get her drunk. Jihyo and Jeongyeon loved watching Sana when she's drunk, she was so funny and dumb. 

An hour in, Sana decided to go outside. She was wasted and breathless from dancing. She stood against the wall of the building and ran her hands through her hair. 

"What am I doing?" she asked herself.

For the past three months she's been going more and more downhill. She missed Momo more than anything. Her heart was empty and she didn't feel anything but sadness and anger. Momo was Sana's first love and this breakup hurt like hell. Nothing could make her hate Momo. Sana felt anger towards her but she just couldn't hate Momo no matter how hard she tried. She was the love of Sana's life and she broke her heart. To be honest, Sana saw it coming. She knew deep down in the final month of their relationship Momo had developed a crush on Nayeon.

Sana shook her head and wiped her eyes. She left the place she had been standing for the past few minutes and made her way towards the entrance of the club. She was looking down at her feet while she walked and bumped into someone. 

"Fuck- I'm sorry!" Sana chuckled and looked up.

It was her.

Sana stood there looking at the girl in front of her. Why was she there? Was she with Nayeon? So many thoughts and questions were running through her head. 

"Hey." Momo breathed out.

"Don't." Sana stated with hurt in her voice. 

Sana didn't know what to do. She stood there frozen. Not a single word came out of her mouth but there were so many words on the tip of her tongue. She was wasted, a perfect opportunity to tell Momo what she always wanted to tell her. Maybe it was a huge mistake. The two stood there in silence while Sana contemplated whether or not she wanted to tell Momo. 

Sana took a deep breath. She looked up at Momo with tears in her eyes. "You know what? Fuck you. God, I've held my tongue for so fucking long, Momo." Sana laughed when she finished that last sentence. "I'm still in love with you and I know you've moved on but do you know how bad I'm hurting? You broke my heart, Momo, after everything we've been through."

"Sana I-" 

"I said don't." Sana shook her head. "I tried to hate you but a part of me is still so in love with you that I can't hate you. Fuck. I still haven't moved on from you because I can't let go of you. I've wanted to say so many things to you for the past three months. I wanted closure too. Like, did you leave me for Nayeon?"

Momo sighed. "I didn't leave you for Nayeon. Yeah, I had feelings for her at the end but I still loved you. I broke up with you because I kept pushing you away and it wasn't fair to you."

Sana stood there. Arms at her sides, her fingernails digging into her palms. She felt a tear slide down her face as she looked at the other girl. Did she believe Momo? Yes and no. She was too heartbroken to believe anything Momo said right now.

Momo moved towards Sana and she just stood there while Momo took her hands. "You deserve the world, Sana. I hope whoever you end up with makes you the happiest girl on this planet. You truly do deserve everything good in this world."

"God." tears started streaming down Sana's face. "I love you, Momo."

"I love you, too." Momo smiled and wiped the girl's tears away. "I hope one day we can be friends again."

Sana slightly nodded. "Yeah, me too."

She got some closure from the conversation. Made her feel a bit better but she was still hurting so bad. It would take her a while to get over Momo but she knew she'd fall out of love. She'd be okay again eventually.


End file.
